First Date Food: What Not to Order

OK so you’ve snagged the lady of your dreams, and she has finally agreed to go out with you for dinner – well done, but you’re not quite home and dry yet. There’s still the actual event itself to get through and retain a modicum of self respect in doing so.
Presumably if she has agreed to go out with you, you’re either incredibly persuasive or you at least don’t embarrass her by your dress sense – so I won’t go through details of the necessary preparatory work. Suffice to say, shower etc.
If you’re arriving separately, arrive early, there is NOTHING worse than waiting in a restaurant on your own if you’re a girl. Same rules apply if you’re meeting her in the pub beforehand. If you are collecting her however, be on time, NOT early, girls have a set time to get ready in and no matter how early you arrive it won’t make her go any faster, but it might anger her. Also, be prepared to wait, yep, she can be late but you can’t. Thems the rules.
At the restaurant try, at the very least pretend, to be interested in what she has to say. And if you are pretending to listen, you better be good at it, because non descriptive non committal answers are incredibly obvious, and annoying. So don’t do it. Or risk a fail.
And finally, the single most important thing on your date, the food you are going to eat - and reveal in your teeth and on your clothes or on your breath - so with that in mind ...
Do not order spaghetti unless you want to have food splatter all over your face, or worse, your date’s face / clothes etc.
Avoid spinach – it is the devils way of messing with you and it will remain in your teeth – no matter how careful you are. Eugh.
Anything laced with garlic – enough said.
A massive hamburger – eating this will not make an appealing look. Seriously. And you are unlikely to get a 2nd date. So it’s your choice really.
Nachos, tacos or wings – veeeery messy and best avoided. Look, as a general rule of thumb, if there is any food you can think of that you’d normally eat with your grubby little mitts – steer clear.
Anything that you might find difficult to get out of its shell – lobster for example. You can show her how worldly and wealthy you are by ordering the wine rather than being daring with the food. And if you’re stuck for what wine to order with what food, remember Champagne goes with everything. ?
And in case you’re thinking about it ... chips and nuggets are not an option.
And finally, soup. Don’t do it. It’s not a good look. Think about it ... slurping, leaning over a bowl (likely wiping your chin with the spoon – yes we know you do that) and the ultimate in turn-offs, dipping your hunk of bread in. Seriously. Epic fail.
What should you have? Keep it simple, steak is good. Steak and mash. Or fish. Fish and mash. Or chicken (although it’s not very manly) but yeah, at a push I’d let you away with chicken and mash.